Today I had to run the store to pick something up. It was late, and I had 28 minutes to get there and back home.
So I drive up to the drugstore, and there is a homeless guy standing in front of the door asking everyone who comes in and out for money. Most of the people ignore him. I do too. I basically walk by him like he is not even there, because I am on a mission.
He is still there when I walk out, and I ignore him again. As I am getting in my car, I hear a lady say: "Ok, I am just going to go to my car and come right back." He says: "Thank you, I appreciate it.". For some reason, I feel compelled to stick around to see if she really comes back. She gets in her car and drives off.
Well, doesn't that stink? I am not sure why that bothered me, but all of a sudden I felt like an eel for making this guy "invisible". I went back and gave him a dollar.
Here comes my philosophical rant:
The dollar did not clear my thoughts. Why am I so inclined to just ignore people who seem to be down in the dumps? Is it a "Hey, go to work dude!" attitude? Is it because we are struggling, so I want to spend every precious $$ on "my" family? Is it because somewhere inside I resent them asking me for money when we have to work so hard to get it? I feel hardened. I feel irritated when I am ambushed walking in or out of a store.
I will make the earth move when I am doing donation drives for our local school for homeless kids, or for women's shelters. I feel blessed to be able to give them whatever they need.
So why do the beggars rub me the wrong way? I don't know, maybe because they ask....