Hazard insurance for boys

I remember like it was yesterday: When my son was born a boy, I received the "raising a boy advice". My response?

"Oh, he will be great. I AM raising him just like Heike Jr. Same house, same parents...".

Hell, what did I know?? Me, the mother of the perfect female child, the one that had a nervous breakdown when she received a "quiet" card at school? The one that would not utter the word "stupid" (even though her mom has a potty mouth), ever. The child that was nice, well behaved, and respectful at all times (ok, every once in a while there was a hiccup, but I forget those...).

My son is the complete opposite. If he was not so much like me, looked like me, and if I was not the one who squeezed him out, I would say someone switched my baby with an alien child sent to earth to test all limits. OMG..this child has nothing but shit in the brain!

Today, I went to vacuum. I turn it on, and all the dust and dog hair I am vacuuming up blows right past my knees behind me.

"What the hell?"
"B, where is the hose for the vacuum??" (Notice that I already know who has the hose?)
"Oh, here mama." (With a sheepish look, that I already know means trouble.)
"I don't know how that got in there." (Pointing to a long, hard object in the suction hose of the vacuum.)
"What is "that"??"
"My harmonica."

Like I said, nothing but shit in the brain. Unfortunately, he also smart. So the shit has reason. Everything he does has a reason. And if you can stay calm, he will explain everything to you in detail. This is why I have no intact pens in my house, pieces of every imaginable electronic thingy that can be pried apart is, and why nothing ever has batteries.

Why was the harmonica in the vacuum? Because he sucked up a Lego Man, that got stuck. So he pushed the Harmonica in to dislodge the Lego man. Of course!

I hope one day he will be a prize winning engineer, architect, scientist, or doctor, and I will look back at the experimental hazards and know there is a reason for all this inquisitive chaos. Does anyone know of a Hazard Insurance for Boys? (Add a subtitle for dogs??)

I am writing this with deep love in my heart, and laughing :).

What I am grateful for: My kids.

What I am manifesting: : Patience :).

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