Today a post on New Moon Girls fan page really started my gut churning again.
It was the simple question of a mom, if she should give in to her 11 year old daughter asking for a pair of $130 UGGs, even if the mom thought they were over priced. My first response was: Just say NO. Actually: "OH HELL NO!"
I pondered this for a moment, and tried to put myself in this mama's shoes. She must be a much nicer mama than me, since she was asking, yes? Or no?
It put me back about 12 years, right around the time my little Goddess was born. As soon as she slipped out, the world became a scary place. I was seeing girl exploitation everywhere!
This is precisely why I started "The Goddess in the Groove". It was my place to speak out against all this insanity against women and girls.
As my little Goddess began to grow and thrive, I threw on my mama armor, ready to kick butt. I began to question why girls had to be cute & giggly, submissive & sweet, and why they were being sexualized through clothes, pageants, the media, etc. Why did little girl clothes look like something a hooker could wear if it was a few sizes bigger? And do you really want some perve staring at your little girl's butt, trying to focus in on the word "Cutie" written across it?
I am digressing.
Back to now, 2010, where tween girls seem to think shopping in malls, $40 T's, $100+ jeans & shoes, $100+ cell phones, etc. are there just for the asking.
Mine does not.
I take my kids on adventure trips to the thrift shop. We all dress well. I have taught them that is alot smarter to spend $20 and get a bunch of clothes, than to spend $40 and have one shirt, where you are wearing that company's brand across your chest, or your ass, for FREE. I have taught them that jeans need to speak French, do my laundry and put it away, pooper scoop, and do my bills before I would pay $90+ for them. I have taught them that we do not only shop at thrift stores because we are smart and our dollar is worth something, but because we recycle everything else, why would be buy new clothes that contribute to bad labor and non eco friendly practices? Not to mention: Why would I want to look like everyone else??
LOL. Maybe I was just a smart mama when I started this, because I knew one day my daughter would be a tween. Peer pressure is strong, and thankfully she is unaffected. And that child will wring a tear out of a dollar, she is stingy. I have found the best remedy for the "Ineeditis" disease is the "Youhaveenoughmoneytopayforityourself". Instant cure.
I realize that my kids don't go to public, or even private school, and even if they ran around like raggamuffins it would be ok in our world. But every world has some kind of peer pressure, and we as parents have to guide our kids. Especially girls.
My goodness, if you let them think the right pants, the right boot, the right size, is what makes them good, well, that stinks. How will they ever find their true strength? How will they make the right decisions, based on their instinct, what they know is right and wrong, if someone else is dictating who they should be? What they should wear? How they should look?
If you can't say no, tell them to earn the money for the outrageous item themselves. At least they will learn the value of it. Even if you are rich and don't care about the money, think about the VALUE of a good lesson :).