Death means something is taken away, and you can never get it back. Physically, anyways. My saving grace in dealing with death is that I still get to "feel" my loved ones periodically. Not on my schedule, of course.
It has been three weeks since my dog, and spirit animal, Rex was mysteriously and quickly taken from me. He was not ill, or old (he was 9), and this happened in a matter of hours. It left a huge hole in my heart. It also left a huge empty space in our house (he was well over 100lbs) and our everyday lives. I was just looking for some pictures of furniture we are selling and came across the many pictures of Rex I took. He was a gorgeous animal, with so much spirit in his eyes. It just takes someone mentioning him, or me seeing pictures, and the tear gate is open. It still makes me so sad.
With that said, I did not want another dog right away. My kids, who feel this loss as much as I do, just in a different way, did. My daughter is in Europe now, the child was not able to say good-bye to her dog. She said she knew, and is dealing with it in her own, almost grown up way. My son was so sad, Rex took his last breaths in our arms.
I tried to cope by donating our food, etc to a Shepard Rescue. The first time I went on there to get their contact info, I saw Valor. A few minutes later, my daughter sends me a picture of: Valor. We were all drawn to him. After a week, my son and I decided to go meet him at his foster home. He sent his sister pictures and videos, they already knew he was ours.
The next day, Valor was brought to our house.
He came with a packet of undisclosed medical history, as well as "I was just informed that the vomits every time he eats so they gave him Pepcid". No wonder he looked so skinny to me.
To make a long story short, to chagrin of my husband, we kept him...on a two to three week trial. It may sound harsh, but I was not in the emotional, or financial position to take on a sick dog.
I immediately put him on what I felt was the right diet for him, which included quality food without grain, coconut oil, probiotics, and tuna fish. I threw the Pepcid in the trash. He has not thrown up once.
The first day was hard, but when I woke up to licks on the second morning, I knew we made the right choice. He is the sweetest dog. Even though he has had major surgery, and was mauled by another dog (that is why he is so scarred and his ears are serrated), and all this other stuff, he is strangely balanced. Don't get me wrong, start running outside, and you get a two year old wild shepherd. He balances out my son's wild energy by matching it with his own. He checks in with me periodically, and jumps into my lap when he feels me being sad. Every once in a while, he sneaks into my daugther's bed, waiting for her to come home.
Our dogs have always come to us for certain reasons, every one has left a mark and taught us something.
Valor has come to heal, and to heal our hearts.
P.S. Please look into a shelter or rescue if you are looking for a dog! The Shepherd Rescues have so many great dogs, 2-3 years old. That is when the cute little puppy turns into a beligerent teen who needs a strong Alpha to guide them. Just like humans. If you get a puppy, please choose your breed wisely.
Labels: death, dogs, grief, healing, loss, love, spirit animal